A new day

Another day, still nothing. None of our refrences have received anything yet. I realize that it's snail mail and that it will all take time but the process is just killing me! I keep having dreams at night, some good, some not so good. For the most part, the dreams are centering around the lack of movement in our case and the possibility tht we keep "missing out" on getting her. I keep picturing her, what she may look like, what her little personality would be like. Will she take to us quickly or will it be a gradual aceptance? Will she lean more towards one of us than the other? How will the boys react to having her here full time? How will Kameron REALLY feel about not being the baby anymore? Arrrggggg. I want this so bad it hurts, LITERALLY hurts! I have a pain in my chest where my heart is, aching.
I have heard firsthand that the process can take years! YEARS! One friend told me that an aquaintance of theirs JUST finally got the child they'd been waiting for for a couple years! I'm happy for them, I really am but the thought of feeling this for that long is scary!
When I was young, My mom made me a quilt. She used to paint on fabric and this quilt had blocks of white fabric with painted dolls from around the world on it. i loved that quilt and always thought that one day I'd have it for my daughter. Well, it sat, in storage because we never had that little girl. I asked my mom for the quilt not long ago. I had her room all pictured in my mind. Not the traditional Pink and Purple, the normal favorite of little girls everywhere, I see a very soft blue-gray on the walls. I want to hand paint some thin branches loaded with cherry blossoms.  I want to adhere some small jewels to the center of some of the blossoms so the light catches them and sparkles around the room. I want the curtains to be light and gauzy. White with a top layer of Royal blue. I want to do an upholstered headboard. Still not sure if I will do a floral with blossoms similar to the ones on the walls or something with a little glamour!
Funny, I have all this planned out and most likely, she'll want a pink and purple princess room. Whatever makes her happy.
It's not raining yet today, maybe we'll get outside after show and tell?