We FINALLY had our ffirst official interview with the social worker. Her name is heather and i THINK it went really well. it was much more indepth then I thought it would be! She was here for about 2 hours and we discussed everything form why we wanted to adopt to wait times and kids and dogs and safety. It started off with just small chit chat then we got into our reasons for adoption. For us, it's because we have always wanted a little girl adn were blessed with four amazing sons. We had decided NOT to have another child naturally and go with the adoption route to give a needy child out there a home and love. She was pretty satisfied with that and quickly moved on to explaining the way CAS works and the types of children that they have to place and deal with. It was a bit scary to think that these poor kids have to go through so much in their young lives.
She talked about some of the issues that might occur with children being removed from their homes. This is part of what the pride program is going to prepare us for. When she brought up an option that Pat and I had not considered, it opened a whole new can of worms to talk about. She mentioned the fostering program which I was very much against and I explained why to her. I get VERY attatched to the kids in my care, so much so that as a potential family member, the child we would "foster" would be extremely hard to give up if the issue came about that she had to go back to her family after a time. heather told us about foster to adopt. A placement program that deals with babies more so than older kids. In general, the baby, sometimes newborn right out of thehospital bed, is placed with you being a foster family with the intention of permanent adoption. They only do this when they are pretty much certain that the chances of the birth family getting thechild back are pretty much none. I had honestly ruled out a baby just because I know how hard it is to get one if not through private adoption and major fees. Even overseas you have very little chance of getting a baby under 1 just because of the red tape and time needed to process the adoption. I accepted that I would not get one and talked myself into thinking that I didn't want one, a baby that is. When Heather brought up this possibility, I admit it was very tempting and exciting. pat is all for it but I still have that feeling of what if, what if she IS taken from us after time spent and loving her and accepting her and having her accept us. Its a gamble, a risk but as Heather pointed out, The path we've chosed for adopting this was will always be a risk.
We discussed the time involved in waiting for a placement and the possibility of having to accept a child with some sort of issue or disability. We were prepared for that and have stated our prefrences in that regard. i will talk about that more later in the fall.
It didnt take long for us to get around to our kids and how they feel. She requested the private interviews for next month and will talk to each of them. She even asked Kyle if he ever remembered being spanked or hurt in any way as a child! Kyle said no, didnt remember anything like that at all.
Heather said she needed five minutes with all teh kids, man Ihope Kameron behaves. he can be a bit rude when he's shy. After that it will be more delving into our childhood, which pat and I both had to fill out 11 page forms about our childhood and past. Mine was pretty straightforward but pat's will need some discussion. He unfortunately had a much more traumatic childhood and teenage years than I did. I am lucky to have a fab family and loving and supportive. He didnt have that and has very little contact with anyone in his family. One brother is all he talkes to. Its sad. I dont know what I'd do without my family's support.
So now, we have four more appointments booked with her over the next two months and our pride starts in three weeks and we go from there. So far, so good!
Tuesday 30 August 2011
Monday 22 August 2011
Oh my! progress at last!
Here we go! omgOmgomgomg.
Exactly one week from today we start our official adoption! We have been told that our first interview with our social worker, in the home, will be on August 29th at 1:00 p.m.! Soooo excited! This is what we've been waiting for since march! Wehave our classes scheduled starting in Spetmeber but this interview, the one that officially decided our fate, is now a go! I am not worried about her determinng that we are not good candidates at all. I know we are. I AM worried about the daycare kids. Sicne the interview is during the day (no other choice) I will be while the kids are still here. In fact, most of our interviews adn meetings will be during business hours here in my home.
I'm worried not because of what she'll see, I know I run a good daycare and the kids are well taken care of, I am, however, worries about the behaviour of a few of the kids. Some of the kids are VERY needy in the attention department and have a tendancy to act out in the presence of a stranger or unknown visitor.
I've had visits from friends or family during daycare hours before and there have been many incidents of certain children acting up at that time. Some just want the focus to be all on them so they have incessant questions and yell and do anything they can to get said person to pay attention to them. I don't understand it but also have a hard time trying to get them to stop. Others just react in a way taht is really difficult, they get wound up and yell and scream and run around. I REALLY need to have control adn was not sure if I should have asked for the day off or not. I decided to inform my clients of the interview and it's improtance adn let them make the decicion (although I hinted) to keep the kids at home or at least do an early pick-up. We'll see how the reaction will be and whom I still have on the 29th. All my clients are aware of our desire to adopt and how important all the meetings, courses and process is to us. Hopefully I will have some understanding clients and have little to no kids that afternoon. I don't want to be mean but It would be so much easier not having anyone here. i don't take days off, pretty much at ALL! I don't take sick days or vacation. I have worked through the entire summer with no (well, little) complaint lol. I don't ask for extra time off at chirstmas or marck break, in fact, I dont get spring break. I make myself available in case I am needed. These meetings are imprtant and even though I don't want to be mean and tell them to pick up the kids early or not come at all( i knowit's not possible for everyone) I'd love for them to be understanding and try to work it out for that day. We'll see.
I'm just happy to have something happening at this point! It's been a long 6 month wait and it's encouraging that the process is moving along finally!
Exactly one week from today we start our official adoption! We have been told that our first interview with our social worker, in the home, will be on August 29th at 1:00 p.m.! Soooo excited! This is what we've been waiting for since march! Wehave our classes scheduled starting in Spetmeber but this interview, the one that officially decided our fate, is now a go! I am not worried about her determinng that we are not good candidates at all. I know we are. I AM worried about the daycare kids. Sicne the interview is during the day (no other choice) I will be while the kids are still here. In fact, most of our interviews adn meetings will be during business hours here in my home.
I'm worried not because of what she'll see, I know I run a good daycare and the kids are well taken care of, I am, however, worries about the behaviour of a few of the kids. Some of the kids are VERY needy in the attention department and have a tendancy to act out in the presence of a stranger or unknown visitor.
I've had visits from friends or family during daycare hours before and there have been many incidents of certain children acting up at that time. Some just want the focus to be all on them so they have incessant questions and yell and do anything they can to get said person to pay attention to them. I don't understand it but also have a hard time trying to get them to stop. Others just react in a way taht is really difficult, they get wound up and yell and scream and run around. I REALLY need to have control adn was not sure if I should have asked for the day off or not. I decided to inform my clients of the interview and it's improtance adn let them make the decicion (although I hinted) to keep the kids at home or at least do an early pick-up. We'll see how the reaction will be and whom I still have on the 29th. All my clients are aware of our desire to adopt and how important all the meetings, courses and process is to us. Hopefully I will have some understanding clients and have little to no kids that afternoon. I don't want to be mean but It would be so much easier not having anyone here. i don't take days off, pretty much at ALL! I don't take sick days or vacation. I have worked through the entire summer with no (well, little) complaint lol. I don't ask for extra time off at chirstmas or marck break, in fact, I dont get spring break. I make myself available in case I am needed. These meetings are imprtant and even though I don't want to be mean and tell them to pick up the kids early or not come at all( i knowit's not possible for everyone) I'd love for them to be understanding and try to work it out for that day. We'll see.
I'm just happy to have something happening at this point! It's been a long 6 month wait and it's encouraging that the process is moving along finally!
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Summer blah
We're at that point where summer is almost finished, but not quite, and the new school year is gearing up...but not quite. The days are getting shorter, the nights cooler. My kids are restless, fighting all the time. They're ready...not quite, to go back to school. I'll convince them of that in a week or two lol. The daycare is getting more rowdy and kids are in need of a definite routine changeup. So am I.
The thought has been tossed around about me NOT taking some time off next summer and working right through with a new job after the move. Believe me when I say that I am NOT the one tossing that thought around at all. At first I felt like I was being selfish. Most families are double income these days and the ones taht are not are the few lucky ones. Up till now, a double income was very much necessary for us to sustain this lifestyle. Now that the agreement has been made to downsize and minimalize, the need for the much extra income will no longer be mandatory. At least, that was the deal. Our oldest son is now 16. It's been over 16 years since I had a break, a good break and in reality, I quit my job when I was pregnant for him. I had about 5 months of me time to prepare for mommyhood. I admit, it was nice...for what I can remember of it.
I admit taht the idea of going without my own paycheck and independance is a bit daunting. i dont want to go back to being one of those housewives that beg and plead for a buck to go out for the day. I hate allowances and having to ask the hubby for permission. That's not me.
On the other hand, 16 years, no break, no time to just sit, have a cup of coffee, read a magazine, listen to the quiet...uh, there is quiet somewhere right?
Even though it may seem like I don't appreciate my family or husband I do! I really do, I just need to have some time to phase down. To find some peace. I really don't think it's to omuch to ask. Now, with the new "suggestion" that I continue to work with no or little break, I'm frustrated and a bit upset. I thougth about the number of vacations hubby has had over the last 17 years. (yup 17 year anniversary coming up at the end of the month. Marriage anniversary is a whole other ball of wax. 14 years for that, coming in October.) 17 years, he's had a few weeks of vakay every year. so, if my mat is even romotely correct, we're looking at just under a years' worth of vacation time that he has had from his work...paid of course. I'm not even asking to be paid for time off, but I do think that at least 6 months is more than fair. That's my reasoning.
We're heading to Toronto on Saturday to go an see medieval times with friends and family. Our "big trip" of the summer. One day away. Well, better than nothing! Our friends are letting the dogs out to pee for us so we don't come home to a nice pile of "presents" in the living room so that makes the day much more enjoyable. Youknow? we haven't even had a chance to take the kids to the beach this summer. No wonder they are all going nuts in the house. They haven't gotten to do anything this summer and it's almost over...but not quite!
The thought has been tossed around about me NOT taking some time off next summer and working right through with a new job after the move. Believe me when I say that I am NOT the one tossing that thought around at all. At first I felt like I was being selfish. Most families are double income these days and the ones taht are not are the few lucky ones. Up till now, a double income was very much necessary for us to sustain this lifestyle. Now that the agreement has been made to downsize and minimalize, the need for the much extra income will no longer be mandatory. At least, that was the deal. Our oldest son is now 16. It's been over 16 years since I had a break, a good break and in reality, I quit my job when I was pregnant for him. I had about 5 months of me time to prepare for mommyhood. I admit, it was nice...for what I can remember of it.
I admit taht the idea of going without my own paycheck and independance is a bit daunting. i dont want to go back to being one of those housewives that beg and plead for a buck to go out for the day. I hate allowances and having to ask the hubby for permission. That's not me.
On the other hand, 16 years, no break, no time to just sit, have a cup of coffee, read a magazine, listen to the quiet...uh, there is quiet somewhere right?
Even though it may seem like I don't appreciate my family or husband I do! I really do, I just need to have some time to phase down. To find some peace. I really don't think it's to omuch to ask. Now, with the new "suggestion" that I continue to work with no or little break, I'm frustrated and a bit upset. I thougth about the number of vacations hubby has had over the last 17 years. (yup 17 year anniversary coming up at the end of the month. Marriage anniversary is a whole other ball of wax. 14 years for that, coming in October.) 17 years, he's had a few weeks of vakay every year. so, if my mat is even romotely correct, we're looking at just under a years' worth of vacation time that he has had from his work...paid of course. I'm not even asking to be paid for time off, but I do think that at least 6 months is more than fair. That's my reasoning.
We're heading to Toronto on Saturday to go an see medieval times with friends and family. Our "big trip" of the summer. One day away. Well, better than nothing! Our friends are letting the dogs out to pee for us so we don't come home to a nice pile of "presents" in the living room so that makes the day much more enjoyable. Youknow? we haven't even had a chance to take the kids to the beach this summer. No wonder they are all going nuts in the house. They haven't gotten to do anything this summer and it's almost over...but not quite!
Monday 15 August 2011
self publishing
So, My family is really on my case to look into self publishing my book. They have been looking into the Amazon site and LuLu and others, attempting to gather information on how I could get my books out there for others to read and not hae to sit on the wait list for literary agents and publishers up here in Canada. It's nearly impossible to get a publisher to look at a manuscript or Query letter up here without a literary agent to back you up and in my area, no agents seem to be taking on new clients at the moment...or so I've been told.
It's frustrating. I love to write, I wish I had more time! Because of this, my recent book has been sitting on the back burner for about 9 months now and I've neglected it badly. My father is my biggest cheerleader! He wants nothing more thna to see my books in print. (gotta love Dads!) My brother is a do-er! He doesnt sit on teh sidelines and waits for things to happen, which, sadly I can be on occasion, a sideliner that is. He's been scouring the net looking for ways to get my books out on the market without having to pace through the years of painful waitlisting! I have to admit, it is very tempting! Get my book on the market and see what happens. Granted, it's never 100% profit, I have to pay a fee but get a royalty from whichever company I choose to publish with. Some are 35%, some 70% and some are up to 90% royalty! I will still have to get an ISBN number for my books which will make it MINE but thats not too expensive I guess.
Starting to see a little bit of light at then end of this bleak tunnel! I've been writing for years with no encouragement from the publishing industry. Not because they didnt like my books, just because they would never even look at them! I felt like I had been shot down before I had even started! Now I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I may see that dream come true!
It's frustrating. I love to write, I wish I had more time! Because of this, my recent book has been sitting on the back burner for about 9 months now and I've neglected it badly. My father is my biggest cheerleader! He wants nothing more thna to see my books in print. (gotta love Dads!) My brother is a do-er! He doesnt sit on teh sidelines and waits for things to happen, which, sadly I can be on occasion, a sideliner that is. He's been scouring the net looking for ways to get my books out on the market without having to pace through the years of painful waitlisting! I have to admit, it is very tempting! Get my book on the market and see what happens. Granted, it's never 100% profit, I have to pay a fee but get a royalty from whichever company I choose to publish with. Some are 35%, some 70% and some are up to 90% royalty! I will still have to get an ISBN number for my books which will make it MINE but thats not too expensive I guess.
Starting to see a little bit of light at then end of this bleak tunnel! I've been writing for years with no encouragement from the publishing industry. Not because they didnt like my books, just because they would never even look at them! I felt like I had been shot down before I had even started! Now I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I may see that dream come true!
Sunday 7 August 2011
New niece!
I am so happy to say that we found out last night our new niece was born! her name is Charlotte but will be called Charlie. Sooo cute. I'm a thrilled new auntie.
It makes me a little anxious. Not in a bad way. I went out to buy my supplies for the cross stitch picture I will do foe her and had to go buy some new outfits for the other two "big sisters". I managed to get some amazing Oshkosh deals! Dresses for $2.99! Seriously! I got three each in Pikn, Turquoise and Melon orange. AND also got a pair of capri's and a t-shirt for each of them. The bill was just over $31 bucks for the whole thing! Not a joke, 10 items for 31 bucks. I was soooo thrilled! gotta love Oshkosh deals. The anxious part was that I COULD have spent a hundred easy and got a tonne of things for my future daughter...if I knew how old she'd be and IF I knew how big she was and IF I knew what would look best on her. sigh. There was soo much on sale and it's so rare that I get to buy the cute little dresses and outfits. They had amazing jackets and jeans for fall. Not much yet but the fall stuff is slowly coming out. Can't wait for the big stuff to come, kam loves the lined rugby pants and this time around i will try to get a few pairs in a couple sizes so that he has some for now and spring.
In a way, I wish I worked there so I could get the discount. Maybe next year I will look into trying to get on part time or something. I'd spend a tonne there. Well, I already do but it would be nice to get it at a bargain. lol
It's so exciting that Charlotte is here. When I am done, I will post a picture of the cross stitch on here. I am doing "Charlotte's web" it'll be cute.
It makes me a little anxious. Not in a bad way. I went out to buy my supplies for the cross stitch picture I will do foe her and had to go buy some new outfits for the other two "big sisters". I managed to get some amazing Oshkosh deals! Dresses for $2.99! Seriously! I got three each in Pikn, Turquoise and Melon orange. AND also got a pair of capri's and a t-shirt for each of them. The bill was just over $31 bucks for the whole thing! Not a joke, 10 items for 31 bucks. I was soooo thrilled! gotta love Oshkosh deals. The anxious part was that I COULD have spent a hundred easy and got a tonne of things for my future daughter...if I knew how old she'd be and IF I knew how big she was and IF I knew what would look best on her. sigh. There was soo much on sale and it's so rare that I get to buy the cute little dresses and outfits. They had amazing jackets and jeans for fall. Not much yet but the fall stuff is slowly coming out. Can't wait for the big stuff to come, kam loves the lined rugby pants and this time around i will try to get a few pairs in a couple sizes so that he has some for now and spring.
In a way, I wish I worked there so I could get the discount. Maybe next year I will look into trying to get on part time or something. I'd spend a tonne there. Well, I already do but it would be nice to get it at a bargain. lol
It's so exciting that Charlotte is here. When I am done, I will post a picture of the cross stitch on here. I am doing "Charlotte's web" it'll be cute.
Thursday 4 August 2011
Feeling the uge to create
I've been bit by the creative bug again. It's been a while and I'm happy to say it's back! Over the last couple of years I've been in a pretty heavy slump. I used to start a new project every month, whether it be sewing, cross stitch, scrapbook, photography or my favorite, writing. I had a very good run at a book a year ago. I was on a fantastic roll and for some reason, let it go for some time and when I went back to it, the feeling had passed and I was in a slump. I had gotten about 6 full chapters on it, well over 3000 words and was pumped! before that one was a supernatural themed novel adn I had gotten 11000words+ on that one and hit the same slump! It's aggravating and I do know why it hits. My job, my family, my lack of time to sit and get lost in it had caught up with me both times it it frustrated teh hell out of me. When you have to get up at 6:30 to get kids up for school, get lunches made, start a job where you are wiping runny noses, changing dirty diapers, refereeing, teaching, tolerating, then attempting to finish out the day with your own family once all the other kids had gone back to theirs. By the time 9 p.m. rolled around and I finally had a few monutes to myself, it was tough to jump on the ;aptop and write for four hours and still get a good nights' sleep. Sure, there were some nights when I managed a good run and glanced at the clock that read 2:40 a.m. and realized that I had to get up in less than four hours.
I never want to give up on my dream of being published. I just wish I had more time to devote to it.
Recently, while surfing on Blogger, I came accross a blog run by a crafter. she had made a bathroom set our of old vintage bedsheets. My sis-in-law is a member of the ghostbusters association of Ontario (yes, there really is one) and I have been trying to find something unusual to make her for her birthday coming up in October. I found a bed sheet set on EBAY. Vintage ghostbusters!! I was so excited! I will attempt to re-create the set I saw on here out of the ghostbusters sheets and then have leftovers to make her a gymbag, a framed print and possibly something else if there is enough fabric in good shape.
I also have a yen to make some rag quilts. I have three nieces and another niece/nephew due any day now. I thought that maybe making the rag quilts will allow me to be crafting and still productive at the same time.
Plans are made for a christmas card making night at some point. I have my inks, my stamps, my embossing tools and my cuttlebug, now all I need is soem good papers and some time. Hopefully soon I can get some carved out.
Somewhere in all that I want to try to get myself back on track too. Meaning I really have let myself go over the last year and I know it. No sugarcoating. I was doing really good for a while there and was feeling really good. With my foot pain and lack of exercise, lack of willpower and self restraint, I have gained some weight and now really feel it's time to rein that in and get back to feeling good again! I hate hiding under yoga pants and oversized t-shirts. I hate the fact that i scrutinize my entire wardrobe wondering what will make me look and feel the least crappy every morning. Not good. I want to pick out clothes everyday and KNOW they look good again and not just hope I look ok. I worked damn hard to get to a point where I was happy and over the last year I have really let that fall to the ground!! Time to pick it up again! It sucks but at least I know how to fix it.
So lets see, new goals. Up creativity, spend some time on ME and my needs. Check.
I never want to give up on my dream of being published. I just wish I had more time to devote to it.
Recently, while surfing on Blogger, I came accross a blog run by a crafter. she had made a bathroom set our of old vintage bedsheets. My sis-in-law is a member of the ghostbusters association of Ontario (yes, there really is one) and I have been trying to find something unusual to make her for her birthday coming up in October. I found a bed sheet set on EBAY. Vintage ghostbusters!! I was so excited! I will attempt to re-create the set I saw on here out of the ghostbusters sheets and then have leftovers to make her a gymbag, a framed print and possibly something else if there is enough fabric in good shape.
I also have a yen to make some rag quilts. I have three nieces and another niece/nephew due any day now. I thought that maybe making the rag quilts will allow me to be crafting and still productive at the same time.
Plans are made for a christmas card making night at some point. I have my inks, my stamps, my embossing tools and my cuttlebug, now all I need is soem good papers and some time. Hopefully soon I can get some carved out.
Somewhere in all that I want to try to get myself back on track too. Meaning I really have let myself go over the last year and I know it. No sugarcoating. I was doing really good for a while there and was feeling really good. With my foot pain and lack of exercise, lack of willpower and self restraint, I have gained some weight and now really feel it's time to rein that in and get back to feeling good again! I hate hiding under yoga pants and oversized t-shirts. I hate the fact that i scrutinize my entire wardrobe wondering what will make me look and feel the least crappy every morning. Not good. I want to pick out clothes everyday and KNOW they look good again and not just hope I look ok. I worked damn hard to get to a point where I was happy and over the last year I have really let that fall to the ground!! Time to pick it up again! It sucks but at least I know how to fix it.
So lets see, new goals. Up creativity, spend some time on ME and my needs. Check.
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